Egyptian

فين الحطة بتعتك؟ “fein el 7eta bto3tak“ In reference to a person, not a firearm, as you may have guessed.

يضرب حشيش “yadrab hashish“ aka, “He smokes hash.” This applies to all illicit drugs: You don’t smoke, take, or inject them, you just…hit them. Although I guess you can drink hash too. #TheMoreYouKnow

هو عاوز الضرب بستين جزمة “hwa 3awz ed-darab b-sitteen gazma“ Equivalent to “That guy really sucks,” but with a far better mental image.

الجو عامل ايه؟ “el gaw 3amel eh?“(accompanied by a wink, nudge, & grin) I think it’s kind of great that ‘So, how’s the weather?’ is used in English as a kind of cultural signifier for not having anything better to talk about or feeling awkward, but in Egypt, it’s sometimes used to ask about someone’s significant other. Same phrase, COMPLETELY different meaning. My guess for the reason there’s a euphemism for this that may be the fact that dating before getting engaged or married is widely considered a no-no / something you usually (not always) have to hide from your parents here, but correct me if I’m wrong. I’ve also never actually heard this one firsthand because it’s mainly used among guys (there’s a whole other world of speech out there that I’ve only been able to see glimpses of. I call it: Shabab Arabic) but one generous shab named Fady was kind enough to share this one with me. I will be poking around for more of this type of phrase in the future. ...

أنت بيئة قوي “Enta bee2a awi” (to a guy) This actually means something like, “you are so trashy right now.” Can also be used to describe geographic locations, restaurants, bars, and anything that has fallen prey to disrepair or sketchiness. I’m personally not sure how the word ‘environment’ came to mean ‘trash’–I think I’d be making quite a leap by suggesting it has to do with how the environment in Cairo is actually consistently quite full of trash, so I won’t do that. ...

مش عارفة انام “mesh arefa anam” (said by a female) This actually strangely means “I can’t sleep.” The structure مش عارفة (I don’t know) is used very commonly in Egyptian to mean ‘cannot.’ True story: when I went back to America for a visit last year after just 6 months in Egypt, I said a whole host of ridiculous things, including “I don’t know how to open the door mom,” as well as the above. Another good one I almost said before catching myself: “I won’t know how to come to the party” (مش هاعرف اجي للحفلة / I can’t come to the party). The main idea here is, once you get to a certain point, Arabic syntax will creep its way into your native language and wreak havoc on your speaking ability, so just prepare yourselves for that. ...

وشك حلو علي “weshak 7elo alaya“ Actually means, “You bring me luck.” So that’s a thing.

If you want to communicate effectively with Egyptian friends, you’re going to have to know how to properly disparage, praise, and express tepid enthusiasm about events and people. In Egyptian, the three main words you’ll need to do this literally translate to “balls” “cream” and “solid.” -The word بيضان (‘beydan’) comes from a slang term for testicles (which, incidentally, literally means eggs) and is used to say that something is lame. As in, الحفلة بيضان – The party is lame. Sometimes when someone that you’re out with is being annoying or difficult, I’ve heard friends say ايه البيضان دا which literally translates to ‘what is this ballsness.’ Go ahead and put that one in your back pocket for later. ...

UPDATE: It has come to light that the phrase يضرب عشرة (lit. ‘hit ten’ and a common Egyptian euphemism for masturbation) only, apparently, applies to men. For women, the equivalent euphemism is تضرب سبعة ونص or ‘hit seven and a half.’ Many questions have emerged in light of this discovery, including but not limited to: Why do men get more what I presume to be fingers than women? [I believe the answer we’re looking for here is ‘patriarchy’ but if there’s a reason a bit more specific than that, THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.] Why do men even need both hands? Doesn’t that seem frivolous to you? Why half a finger? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?? What are the other two and a half busy with while this is going down? Ugh. Arabic, your mysteries are boundless. ...

BREAKING: #TeamMaha has received reports that one Facebook user has seen the actress who played Al-Kitab’s “Maha” multiple times over the past year in the Heliopolis neighborhood of Cairo, Egypt. The woman claimed that she often sees “Maha” out with her family, asserting that the actress does not, contrary to the expectations of many, seem particularly lonely. A large number of American Arabic students familiar with “Maha” have been under the impression for many years that the actress was killed in a fiery car crash soon after the textbook was published. As a result, the news may come as a shock to some. ...